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雅思OG写作Test5 Task2解析

2014-11-26 18:07| 来源:环球教育 | 点击量:

摘要: 环球教育为考生做了雅思OG写作Test5 Task2的解析。
环球教育为考生做了雅思OG写作Test5 Task2的解析:
雅思OG写作题目
雅思OG写作审题要(Task focus)
这道题属于大作文中的科技类话题。题干指出了一个社会现象,即“现在科技被越来越多的用于监控人们 的一言一行(例如:通过手机追踪和监控摄像等)。在很多情况下,人们是不知道自己是被监控的”。问 考生这种发展是否利大于弊。这是典型的优缺点型题目。考生需要提出自己的观点,并给出恰当的理由来 支撑自己的观点。
雅思OG写作写作思路(Thinking before writing)
我们可以先思考一下,这一现象的优势有哪些,坏处又有什么,然后再判断是否利大于弊。优缺点类题目一般的结构是开头先讨论题目,引出下文;然后用二或三个主体段分别给出优点及缺点,可以均衡的写也可以有所侧重;后结尾段总结全文,给出自己的观点。这篇范文分为四段,段讨论了话题背景,然后用一个疑问句引出下文;二段出于对安全问题的考虑,讨论了科技监控人们一言一行的好处;三段从人权的角度出发,写了受到监控的坏处;结尾段总结全文,给出观点,即我们的自由比科技进步更有价值。
 
 
雅思OG写作范文演示(Sample analysis)
Model Response
In recent years, advances in technology have allowed governments, the police and privately owned companies to keep the public under constant surveillance. In many major cities and towns, security cameras are recording the movements of ordinary citizens. Whenever a cellphone is used, the call is logged, so the service provider knows exactly when and where the user made the call. Invisible satellites orbit the Earth, watching us whether we like it or not. Is this, however, a development we should welcome?
Certainly there are benefits. In areas where there is a high crime rate, the use of security
cameras may act as a deterrent to criminals: if they can see a camera, they may think twice about breaking into a building or stealing a car. If a crime is carried out, then a camera may provide useful evidence. The same is true for a cellphone; the police sometimes rely on call logs to help them trace the whereabouts of suspects or victims.
On the other hand, there are a number of concerns. In countries where human rights are ignored, the use of security cameras or listening devices may be harmful to society. People should be able to hold meetings and express their opinions without their privacy being invaded. There is also a very different issue we should consider. Nowadays, many people upload personal information and photographs onto social networking sites; they often do not realize how easy it is for other people to view this information or for the site owners to use the data or photographs for their own financial gain.
It seems inevitable that there will be more and more ways to monitor society in the future. However, it is our responsibility to evaluate new technology and decide whether it will do more harm than good. Surely our freedom is more valuable than technological progress. (307 words)   
 
雅思OG写作范文亮点(Sample highlights)
1 段:讨论话题 引出下文
范文开头段先对话题进行了讨论,指出近年来,先进技术使得(have allowed)政府、警方和私有公司 一直对公众计划持监控状态(under constant surveillance)。很多主要城镇都有监控摄像记录着普通市民 的一举一动(recording the movements of ordinary citizens)。每当人们用手机打电话的时候,通话 就会被记录下来(the call is logged),因此用户在何时何地打的电话,服务供应商了解得一清二楚 (the service provider knows exactly)。不管我们喜不喜欢(whether we like it or not),看不见的卫 星都在围绕着地球,观测我们。但是,这种科技发展真的受欢迎吗?
开头用贴近生活的例子引出话题,后一句用 however 作为插入语提出转折,同时用疑问句“Is this, however, a development we should welcome?”提出问题,引出下文。
2 段:主体段一
这一段讨论了科技监控人们一言一行的好处。在犯罪率高(high crime rate)的地区,使用监控摄像能 够对不法分子起到威慑作用(act as a deterrent to criminals)。如果他们看到摄像头,他们可能在闯入 大楼或偷车之前三思(think twice)。如果犯罪行为已经发生了(a crime is carried out),那么摄像机 可以提供有力的证据(provide useful evidence)。对于手机也是一样的情况(The same is true for a cellphone),警方有时会依靠通话记录(rely on call logs)来帮助他们追踪犯罪嫌疑人及受害者的去向 (trace the whereabouts of suspects or victims)。
这一段使用了遏制和打击犯罪的实例,证明了监控设备的优势作用。亮点是两个由“if”引导的假设论 证。
3 段:主体段二
这一段写了受到监控也有很多担忧(a number of concerns)。在很多忽视人权的(In countries where human rights are ignored),使用监控摄像或监听设备可能会危害社会。人们应该能够在个人隐 私不被侵犯的情况下(without their privacy being invaded)开会、表达自己的想法。还有些特殊情况 我们应该考虑进去。现在很多人在社交网络上传自己的个人信息和照片(upload ... onto social networking sites),他们总是没有意识到,别人多么轻易地(how easy it is for other people to)就 可以浏览这些信息,网站所有者甚至很容易就能够利用这些数据和照片为自己谋取经济利益(for their own financial gain)。
这一段从个人隐私及安全的角度出发,引用了社交网络的例子。过渡句“There is also a very different issue we should consider.”用的很自然,考生可以积累借鉴。
4段:总结全文
在将来,监督社会的方法会越来越多,这似乎不可避免的(It seems inevitable that...)。然而,我们有 责任评估新的科技设备(evaluate new technology and decide)是不是弊大于利

以上是环球教育为考生整理的雅思OG写作解析,希望对考生有所帮助。更多雅思OG写作解析尽在环球教育官网及环球教育备考站
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