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雅思范文欣赏之论述交通问题

2013-08-26 14:23| 来源:环球雅思 | 点击量:

摘要: 对于写Development类的雅思大作文,一般会要求考生进行利弊分析,所以一定要结合实际情况,不能太过主观臆断,要视具体情况而定,使得论述比较站的住脚。
发展问题也是雅思大作文的一大常见话题之一,其中涉及的领域比较集中于科技发展、教育发展等。以下,以交通问题为例,具体来解读雅思大作文的结构思路以及用词语法的注意事项。

题目:

Some people think stricter punishment for driving offenders is the only effective way to improve safety on the roads. To what extent do you agree or agree?


分析:

题目大意是说,有些人认为应该更加严厉地处罚那些违规的驾驶者,这是保证路面安全的唯一有效的方法。到什么程度你同意或不同意这个观点?很明显,这句话中的核心词是“the only effective way”,这样的说法太过绝对化了。因此,考生们在写作文的时候思路应该是先肯定严厉处罚对于改进路面安全的有效性和实用性,但是也不可否认还有其他方法,而且有些危险是不能仅仅靠法律所避免的,需要视具体情况而定。这样的论述就比较站的住脚,也比较容易让考生进行扩展。


范文:

开头段转述题目,paraphrase,说明背景信息,引出话题,表达自己的观点,至少写3句
With the car ownership soaring in China, the issue of traffic accidents has been thrown into sharp relief. According to recent research conducted by China’s ministry of transportation, the annual incidence of traffic accidents is nearly three times as high as the corresponding figure a decade ago. Many people have been alarmed by this trend and assert that imposing stiffer punishment on the perpetrators is the only way to curb this disturbing phenomenon. Personally, I believe their view has both merit and demerit.
主体段第一段,1+4句,主题句+2个二级论点+2句论证
在此段,作者具体阐述了更严厉的处罚的两点优点,并且通过具体理由的论述,显得理据充分,令人信服。
(主题句)Granted, more severe penalty does carry certain advantages.(二级分论点1) First and foremost, it would be the most cost-effective way to deter those would be driving offenders. (论证分论点1) Heavy fines, long community service or even jail terms would render most of the aggressive drivers apprehensive about the violating the traffic law, even without extra government funding to upgrade traffic surveillance cameras or augment traffic police force.(二级分论点2) Further, the effective of this hard line approach would be immediate.(论证二级分论点)Once the related regulatory decrees are released, we would be sure to witness a substantial decline of driving offenses overnight.
主体段第二段,1+6句,主题句+3个二级分论点+3句论证
在此段,作者提出有些交通危险是不能仅仅靠严厉的措施所能避免的。三个分论点的说明,进一步阐述此看法的片面性,即“不是唯一的有效的方法”。
(主题句) However, there are also traffic hazards that we cannot address by merely stiffening the punishment of aggressive or destructive driving conduct(二级分论点1) To begin with , pedestrians who habitually jaywalk will not be discouraged by this move.(论证二级分论点1)pedestrians account for a considerable proportion of traffic-accident culprits; thus, pedestrian offenses such as jaywalking must be effectively checked as will. (二级分论点2) Secondly, , if people who are regularly behind the wheel are not awakened to the horrific consequences traffic offenses may breed, they will take advantage of every loophole in sight.(论证二级分论点2) If people who are regularly abide by the traffic law solely out of fear for punishment, when a surveillance camera is out order or the traffic police fail to keep tabs on a specific of a freeway, all hell will break loose.(二级分论点3) Lastly, strict punishment of disorderly conduct does not guarantee infallible detection of driving offenses.(论证二级分论点3) Without sophisticated traffic-offense detectors and a capable traffic police force, traffic laws, no matter how draconian, would be lax enough for hardened reckless drivers to disregard.
结尾段,重申立场,进一步说明观点,一般是3句
In the final analysis, I concede that harsh penalty on driving offenders constitutes an effective way to deter irresponsible driving behavior. However, the rampant diving offense cannot be curbed by stiffer punishment of driving offenders along. On balance, I am convinced that we must take a more integrated approach to this modern-day scourge.

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